I loved the four-issued spectacle that was Legion Quest, mostly because Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr's friendship was the main focus of that, even if Charles' insane son David (Legion) had to mess that all up via time-travel and attempted murder (of Erik); and then kills his own father instead. Douche move, Dave. That story arc (which features the gayest Charles/Erik cover ever) was apparently the prelude for this one, the long-winded alternate reality that is Age of Apocalypse. It covers fourteen separate issues and THIS site has provided a great list for how to read this best chronologically and I only hoped the four 'Epic' books that collected all of these issues followed the same order. Unfortunately enough, they didn't.
This was why the timeliness of it all as read in the first ten issues here seemed out of loop and readers may get frustrated by the severe lack of linear coherency alone. AND THEY SHOULD. It's not the tidiest collected work. Like, EVER.
Personally, while reading the ten issues in this volume, I found some standalone moments between and among characters that I enjoyed but only because of how cheesy or goofy they came off. Here's the first thing you need to learn about reading Age of Apocalypse: please do understand that it's basically not meant to be taken seriously and I dare anyone who would challenge this idea because to me it came off as pretty much just a ridiculous exercise on how much readers can care about the X-Men that they are willing to sift through the woefully unnecessary expositions featured in this hefty motherfucker.
Look, it's no Claremont prose which is often uniquely entertaining in spite of its cheese quality. Sure, I think the writers aspire to match that tonality and there are times it paid off. Other times, it's just alienating, bizarre and condescending, if not disappointingly flat or dumbfounding. AUs are supposed to offer something fresh and exciting but I'm only getting tiny gems along the way which only happened to draw me in because they're about characters I'm very involved in.
For the first volume of Age of Apocalypse, here are the issues that were featured and it makes no sense why they are compiled together: (1) X-Men Chronicles #1; (2) Tales of the Age of Apocalypse #2, (3)Tales of the Age of Apocalypse #1; (4) X-Men Chronicles #2; (5) X-Man -1; (6) X-Man Annual ‘96; (7) Blink #1; (8) Blink #2; (9) Blink #3; (10) Blink #4
As I've mentioned before, that is not the advised reading order and yet here we are. I think I'll tackle my favorite moments instead for this review with some commentary as to why they made me giddy. Please take note that they are mostly absurd on their own and they probably stood out for me because I like the characters involved in the scenes. Nonetheless, Age of Apocalypse so far has been sorely a let-down. It's a mish-mash of separate events rather than a cohesive arc with multiple installments. Everyone is just doing their own thang, caught up with whatever bullshit battle, as all the characters are drawn like they're posing for an eighties glam rock cover band (IT'S VERY DISTRACTING). Speaking of which:
NUMBER 5 FAVORITE THING ABOUT AOA Book 1:
Cyclops and his puffy Bon Jovi-inspired hair; and Magneto's Fabio-styled braided silver locks.
NUMBER 4 FAVORITE THING ABOUT AOA Book 1:
Morph as the comic relief. He's pretty endearing.
NUMBER 3 FAVORITE THING ABOUT AOA Book 1:
Whatever the hell is going on with Jean Grey and Logan (known here as Weapon X).
This is my favorite spread because the illustration is SO. FUCKING. DORKY:
NUMBER 2 FAVORITE THING ABOUT AOA Book 1:
Magneto casually inserting Charles Xavier any chance he gets, constantly reminding everyone that he had a friend once who died saving him and he owed him everything that he has become now. And then cue sad, contemplative music (most probably). He also once referred to him as a "special person" which is totally an endearment.
NUMBER 1 FAVORITE THING ABOUT AOA Book 1:
That odd love triangle among Magneto, Rogue and Gambit that made me laugh and laugh and cry a little about because IT ACTUALLY WORKED FOR ME AND I AM SORT OF ASHAMED. But I guess it's acceptable because Charles is dead in this AU so it's okay for Mags to move on, totally just hook up with Rogue, and every once in a while still mention and talk about Charles.
BEHOLD THE SOAP OPERA THAT IS MAGS X ROGUE X GAMBIT:
THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE ONLY THING WORTH READING IN VOLUME ONE!!
So who the fuck is Apocalypse? Why the fuck should I worry about him? As the first volume, this one should already be giving me a glimpse of what he is capable of, what he plans to do exactly, and why is he a threat to the world. All I got are crumbs of these things and the villains who act in his name are at best vaguely represented and under-utilized while others are barely competent. I don't understand the alternate reality that AoA operates in. No amount of world-building is sufficiently spent for readers to imagine and comprehend without the narrative bubbles for that being reduced to eye-rolling purple prose. The only thing I know is the fact that Xavier died so he never founded the X-Men so it was Magneto who took his place instead and now he plays the role of this tortured good guy who laments the lost dream he shared with his late friend while also doing a 'will-they-won't-they' dance with Rogue (WHICH IS AWESOME! THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT ME READING).
Also, the Blink issues were...okay. I didn't know much about this character so having to read four issues about her had been rather trying for me. It's not that I didn't like her but I didn't feel the characterization for her and the role she took part in for her story were compelling enough. I can't understand how she fits into all of this yet.
I could only hope things will get better in the next three books.
Whatever the hell is going on with Jean Grey and Logan (known here as Weapon X).
This is my favorite spread because the illustration is SO. FUCKING. DORKY:
Magneto casually inserting Charles Xavier any chance he gets, constantly reminding everyone that he had a friend once who died saving him and he owed him everything that he has become now. And then cue sad, contemplative music (most probably). He also once referred to him as a "special person" which is totally an endearment.
NUMBER 1 FAVORITE THING ABOUT AOA Book 1:
That odd love triangle among Magneto, Rogue and Gambit that made me laugh and laugh and cry a little about because IT ACTUALLY WORKED FOR ME AND I AM SORT OF ASHAMED. But I guess it's acceptable because Charles is dead in this AU so it's okay for Mags to move on, totally just hook up with Rogue, and every once in a while still mention and talk about Charles.
BEHOLD THE SOAP OPERA THAT IS MAGS X ROGUE X GAMBIT:
THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE ONLY THING WORTH READING IN VOLUME ONE!!
So who the fuck is Apocalypse? Why the fuck should I worry about him? As the first volume, this one should already be giving me a glimpse of what he is capable of, what he plans to do exactly, and why is he a threat to the world. All I got are crumbs of these things and the villains who act in his name are at best vaguely represented and under-utilized while others are barely competent. I don't understand the alternate reality that AoA operates in. No amount of world-building is sufficiently spent for readers to imagine and comprehend without the narrative bubbles for that being reduced to eye-rolling purple prose. The only thing I know is the fact that Xavier died so he never founded the X-Men so it was Magneto who took his place instead and now he plays the role of this tortured good guy who laments the lost dream he shared with his late friend while also doing a 'will-they-won't-they' dance with Rogue (WHICH IS AWESOME! THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY THING THAT KEPT ME READING).
Also, the Blink issues were...okay. I didn't know much about this character so having to read four issues about her had been rather trying for me. It's not that I didn't like her but I didn't feel the characterization for her and the role she took part in for her story were compelling enough. I can't understand how she fits into all of this yet.
I could only hope things will get better in the next three books.
KINDDA RECOMMENDED: 6/10
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