Way of X issue #3 by Simon Spurrier

I just want to disclose that aside from reading this installment for the weekend, I've also finished another Spurrier work which was the third volume of The Dreaming for Vertigo comics. Because of that, I maintain that he truly knew how to handle ensemble cast to create well-balanced elements per issue, and no other installment solidified that than issue #3 whose premise was supposedly about the Hellfire Gala, and yet only for the opening pages. 

What followed more later on was some top-notch episodic storytelling which not only moves the plot forward but also essentially deepens the interactions among principal characters like Nightcrawler, Legion, Doctor Nemesis, and the newer mutants Loa, Pixie, Mercury Stacy X, and Lost. There's also Dazzler who really needs a more prominent role here, and Fabian Cortez, who honestly isn't worth mentioning because he's not happy to be there, and neither am I.

Granted, some people might tell you this was a nonsensical issue of fillers, and I think that it has a lot to do with the fact nothing particularly suspenseful happens unlike in the last issue when David Haller was brought into the fold. But readers should adjust their expectations accordingly, because I hardly think Way Of X will be about the usual fanfare of superhero action, which is why it's such an interesting concept. I think the focal point of the narrative was how mutants of Krakoa are adjusting as a free nation with their own governing laws as the oldest lay the foundations of try to keep everything and everyone functional while the rest are able to enjoy the freedoms of this kinder era.

According to Professor X, there are 'three laws enshrined in Krakoan nationhood', which were [1] Make More Mutants; [2] Kill No Man; [3] Respect this Sacred Land. It's stated right there on the pamphlet for the Hellfire Gala, also known as the most recent event Kurt Wagner attended, and he got wasted. To avoid spilling the beans about the twist from last issue (which I'm still trying to wrap my head around because WHAT HOLY SHIT), Nightcrawler drunk himself into an incomprehensible stupor while the rest of the mutants frolicked to obey the first law of the land. Sounds legit enough. Dazzler herself concurred that the Hellfire Gala is a hook-up hub. And hey, after being persecuted for so long, mutants deserve some spring break fling in a previously sentient island, why not?

But since every Eden will always have a snake, it seems, and both Nightcrawler and Legion encountered their own version in some symbolic level. That's how the third installment was divided; we got Kurt still wrestling with the layered developments in their brave new world as he avoids not being too colored by his Catholic prejudices, while Legion was on the hunt for his father' other illegitimate offspring. The contrast of the content for these two simultaneous scene was highlighted by several vivid panels that depict just how bizarre and perhaps earth-shattering the encounters were, at least to Nightcrawler. He would learn about Stacy X's current preoccupation which was not only peddling contraceptives during the season of procreation but also the existence of 'baby blooms'. 

It's only after he stopped being such a judgmental little shit, of course, that Stacy X helped him broaden his understanding of how sexuality works in the human-mutant paradigm. Not everyone is concerned with sowing their oats and raising the future of the mutant race. More often than not, people just want to enjoy a transient moment of intimacy and release and then move on. This liberal message, of course, wasn't something Nightcrawler subscribes to, but he did keep an open mind through most of it. I'm more than happy to give him the benefit of the doubt because he's hungover and carrying a deadly secret, which David was currently on his way to fix while this was happening.

The revelation later on was that there babies being born anyway each time mutants copulated. It was disturbing yet also harmless because who doesn't like cute babies and especially those who just sprout inside big flowers? It's very fairy-tale like if not totally archaic. Stacy X and Lost have appointed themselves as guardians of these baby blooms, which was nice. But Nightcrawler was understandably perturbed that the first law was upholding itself naturally. Mutants are fucking and every now and the will produce a baby bloom but will hardly care about parenting. I mean, it sounds like something Professor X and Magneto have done themselves on separate occasions. 

Speaking of that ONE OFFSPRING they did HAVE TOGETHER...

I looked at the note for my talking points for this issue concerning Legion's side of things, and I don't think I could ever come up with a better way to describe it but with the tabloid headline, 'Kooky telepath who turned a new leaf uses psychic lesbian date as bait for Onslaught.' That's it. That's the gist of what happened. Don't believe me? See for yourself the unedited pages:

I would never put it past David Haller to do something like this because he is his father's son but with less finesse or the attempt to care about the feelings of others. I did feel bad for Loa and Mercury since all they wanted was to be together, but in the end being so connected like that on a deep mental level meant they saw and learned things about each other without proper context. Intimacy, after all, must be gradual. It's a journey. David had never cared much about doing things the old-fashioned way, not with his powers and attitude. Besides, a parasite has been lurking in the minds of Krakoan citizens, and for David that trumps giving a shit about young love.

The climax, naturally, happened during a confrontation between Lost and Fabian Cortes inside the nursery room (garden?) of the baby blooms. Onslaught hopped onto Lost and tried to use her to attack the others, but David was able to intercede swiftly. There was a fun page of the innocent baby blooms just cooing and sleeping while this magnificent disaster went down. It's as absurd as I'm describing but nonetheless entertaining. But if you're a more discerning reader who is expecting far too much and too soon from a story still working its gears, then you definitely will just see this as unnecessary fodder that went absolutely nowhere.

In that sense, you will be more than justified with your opinion: nothing much happened except shenanigans. And you know what? What is X-Men without the shenanigans? We've had enough groundbreaking, tediously dark and serious works in this medium that sometimes wacky interactions are much needed, and it's not as if Way Of X didn't have the substance in other ways to back up such absurdity to take place every now and then. The interactions among characters are just priceless! I enjoyed getting to know these characters better more than the roles they must serve for the sake of plot. It's the same reason the original Sailor Moon run had more heart than the otherwise more polished and updated anime that was released a few years back (which felt soulless to me at times); it's the filler episodes of Sailor Moon that fleshed out the depths of its characters as people that eventually made them easy to root for once the conflicts pick up on the later episodes. 

The same could be said about Way Of X.

Except that the last three issues were indeed building up to something remarkable, supported by superb writing and even more eye-catching art and panel sequences. It never meanders or stalls. To me, the momentum was always well-paced even for scenes like here in the third issue that it has to slow down somewhat so it can properly tell a story and develop its characters.

The issue ends with Doctor Nemesis asking Dazzler for a dance, which again is frustratingly random, but it's also the most perfect way to end such a hilarious yet insightful installment. But before I close this review, I just want to post what Kurt has to say about Onslaught, in case some of you literally have no clue and for those who just forgot exactly how this abomination existed:

That's right, my fellow Cherik shippers: Charles and Erik did have a child together, and he's fucked up.

Nightcrawler then leaves us with this to consider: "Given the entity's origins, given that it knew their innermost thoughts more intimately than anyone, could we trust that Xavier and Magneto are not already compromised?"

I mean, it's probably best to assume the worst about your gay dads. They had let you down before.

RECOMMENDED: 8/10