Giant-Size Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon

"Everything is so fragile. There's so much conflict, so much pain. You keep waiting for the dust to settle and then you realize, this is it: the dust is your life going on. If happy comes along, that weird, unbearable delight that's actual happy--I think you have to grab it while you can. You take what you get 'cause it's here and then GONE."

WHAT. THE. FUCK. I'm sorry, let me be clearer: I actually meant: WHATTTTT??? THE FUCCCCCKKKK??!!

The Breakworld story arc Unstoppable was my least favorite of all of Joss Whedon's arcs for The Astonishing X-Men and his run officially ends with this Giant-Size issue which mercifully concluded the mixed bag that Unstoppable anyway. I have enjoyed the significant character moments among the pairs of Kitty and Peter, Emma and Scott, Agent Brand and Hank, and Logan and Hisako. Meanwhile, some story about an alien planet is happening in the background of these great character moments, and when all is said and done, I still couldn't give a crap. But now I do, but only because I was upset about all the revelations and THAT GODDAMN RESOLUTION that poignantly closes Whedon's run but doesn't change the fact that it was WILDLY UNFAIR and VICIOUSLY HURTFUL and every other combination of adjectives-used-as-adverb plus adjective which is usually my linguistic style when it comes to describing things when I write reviews.

First of all: AGHANE IS THE BAD GUY AFTER ALL AND ORD IS THE UNSUNG HERO. What? I spent so much time thinking Aghane was going to put things right because she interpreted the prophecy in terms of a spiritual and physical destruction of their home planet in order to make way for a more compassionate and community-based kind of civilization as oppose to the barbaric and pathethically patriarchal kind that the Breakworlders has lived under for so long. Well, no more. We have Colossus now to rip out the planet's power core and change things for the best. Except that Aghane became the villain just pages before she was killed by Ord. Ord the fucking Dumb-Dumb whom I wanted to die since his first appearance. Apparently, Ord was doing the right thing and killin Aghane has made him a hero. Wait, what? Was I not paying that much attention to the way this story was going since the beginning? I thought I got it all figured out and it turns out I'm an idiot because I've been rooting for the bad guy all along (and her sudden shift to villainy doesn't make sense to me!) and the bad guy whom I wanted to die turned out to be good and Colossus even held him in his arms as he took his last breath. HUH? Wasn't Colossus just pounding on this guy several issues ago? WHY IS THIS HAPPENING? Also, Brand is a half-alien progeny and has a thing for Hank? SINCE WHEN? Will the next writer even explore this throwaway development in the next run?

The worst thing that could ever happen to a character happened to Kitty and here is how I reacted

But all these things are forgivably minuscule compared to what happened to Kitty Pryde. Last issue (#24), we see Kitty phasing inside the missile that the Breakworld has aimed at our Earth in case Colossus goes through the plan to rip out the power core. She can't phase out because it's no missile. Hell fucking no. It's a GODDAMN BIG-ASS BULLET. And it's hurling for Earth. So Marvel's Mightiest Heroes gather to try and solve this problem but the bullet has some hypnotic ability and they were all under a trance as it gets closer and closer to the world. Emma was the last person Kitty ever talks to as she summons all her strength, fortitude, courage and badass awesomeness to phase, turning the giant bullet in phase mode as well so as soon as it hit a major city, the physical property of it just went through the buildings, becoming transparent and shit. So Kitty is forever entombed there, unable to phase out because doing so would trigger the bullet and it would explode and kill everyone. Nobody knows how to fix it, not even the combined geniuses of Reed Richards, Tony Stark, Hank McCoy, etc. And the worst part of it all is that Peter never got to say goodbye. Emma was the only one who talked to Kitty. I mean, Emma can fucking link everyone's minds together, right? Why didn't she do that? At least Peter would have talked to Kitty one last time, and it wouldn't have been so unfair for everyone especially to Kitty WHO IS JUST TRAPPED INSIDE A BULLET FOR GOOD! Where the fuck is Magneto? That bastard is still alive somewhere. He should help disarm the bullet and set Kitty free, dammit! I hate this! And I don't understand why no one is angry! Logan wasn't even that affected. He was just all sad. I mean, it's the FUCKING WOLVERINE! He loved Kitty like a sister and HE WOULD HAVE CLAWED SOMEONE BY NOW! Why is Peter so accepting of this? Has he lost it? Maybe he has gone insane to the point that he can't react properly anymore or even grieve Kitty. He looked so lost in his last panel. Poor guy.

BUT GODDAMMIT I AM SEETHING WITH FURY RIGHT NOW. I wish I have never read this issue. Sure, it was all poignant and melancholic how Kitty sacrificed herself for everyone. She went the extra mile to save countless of lives even if it meant forfeiting her own.

BUT FUCK THAT! SHE DESERVED BETTER, WHEDON!

Then again, I shouldn't expect less from Joss Whedon who has a habit of KILLING OFF FAN-FAVORITE CHARACTERS in his works. Goddamn you, Whedon! At least you killed the other fan-faves but you doomed Kitty to a fate worse than death! She's still alive and has to keep phasing that bullet FOR AN INDETERMINABLE LENGTH OF TIME, I assume. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT THIS SHITE?!!

Please take note, Mr. Whedon!

I still consider the rest of the twenty-four issues gold but this one? KITTY DESERVED BETTER!

NOT THAT RECOMMENDED: 1/10

The Astonishing X-Men Omnibus Edition by Joss Whedon

With a total of twenty-four issues, the 2005 debut of The Astonishing X-Men feels like you're viewing one season of an American television show which is perfectly understandable, seeing as its writer Joss Whedon is also the one that brought us TV gems like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Firefly, Dollhouse and Angel. This gorgeous omnibus edition collects all issues of Whedon's legendary run, comprised of Cyclops, Emma Frost, Kitty Pryde, Wolverine, Beast and Colossus. Truly engaging, endlessly creative and shockingly sublime in the right places, The Astonishing X-Men has to be the BEST X-MEN SERIES I've read this year (with Jeff Parker's X-Men: First Class being the close second). I would consider this as a rather a fine example of a writing that works phenomenally when it comes to telling a really engaging superhero story with a balance between plot and character developments. 

Like I said, it feels like the first season of a favorite show, filled with stellar moments in the plot construction and the character arcs that make it float and stay on course. Both riveting in execution of story and delivering some of the most emotionally meaningful moments about characters (especially two female superheroes), Joss Whedon's The Astonishing X-Men is something I will recommended readily to a fan of the X-Men films but has yet to read them in comics. This is a great starting piece to ease newbies in while at the same time pleasing the long-time crowd of fans.

The twenty-four issues are divided into four story arcs which are composed of six installments each. We have Gifted where a scientist develops a cure for the mutant gene, and the new team of the X-Men band together to prove that they can be just as loved by the public and the media as the other superhero teams such as the Fantastic Four and the Avengers. In Danger, the X-Men faces the threat of their most formidable foe yet; a sentient being who has lived in the Xavier School and watched them fight during combat simulation and is therefore more than informed regarding their weaknesses. For Torn, Emma Frost (a reformed villainness) commits the unthinkable, fracturing her teammates and certain important relationships within their group. The last arc, Unbreakable, ties together all three previous plot stories with its own primary focus on the alien planet Breakworld which, according to some prophecy, is destined to be destroyed by an X-Man. The conclusion of that arc continues to the Giant-Size edition whose ending was the most unexpected and stomach-churning pay-off I have ever been subjected to. Just thinking about it again makes me very sad and very mad. That being said, Whedon performed consistently in his writing for each issue, holding back no punches and making sure that each blow hurts enough to give you a lingering ache. 

But like most of Whedon's work, he knows how to take characters to places and then he breaks and molds them into something better and enthralling, even if it's fragmented with the kind of holes you can never mend.

The two stars of his series are Kitty Pryde and Emma Frost. Whedon's first issue began with seeing Kitty Pryde again as she walks back into the Xavier School for the Gifted, bags in hand but looking as if she has never left the place at all. What I enjoyed about Kitty in her appearances here in the series is the fact that she's a darling. Really, she is. Inquisitive, selfless but clever, and brave to a goddamn fault, Kitty always becomes the star of a story when a writer really knows how to commit her stellar characterization on paper. I thought she had an impressive run so far, taking on the responsibility of becoming an X-Man head-on even if she maintained that "being an X-Man does not always suit me". In spite of whatever insecurities she had about her skills and role in the team, she never lets it get to her and performs under pressure quite creatively and adamantly. This isn't really the first time Kitty caught my attention. In Claremont's X-Men: Forever, she accidentally phased through Wolverine while a mutant got them stuck and when she separated from him, he got a piece of his adamantium claw on her knuckle. The way she dealt with that physical transformation was so riveting to watch because at her core, Kitty remains the resourceful and compassionate kid she is through all of it. In her first appearance after the Dark Phoenix Saga, thirteen-year old Kitty is inexperienced in so many ways but was eager to learn and prove herself. This is around the time Days of Future Past hit, and her older self and younger self merged to save the day. It's such a shame that the movies don't put her front and center (alongside Wolverine if they must insist, considering Logan and Kitty have a good brother-sister thing going on anyway), especially when they cast a talented actress like Ellen Page for the role. In any case, at least in Whedon's Astonishing X-Men, she truly got to shine. 

Meanwhile, the White Queen has always fascinated me since her very first appearance in the Dark Phoenix storyline as one of the formidable henchwomen of the Hellfire Club. It's worth noting that she and Kitty were introduced together especially here in Whedon's tale where the two are obviously at odds with each other. Kitty has made it no secret that she has no love for Emma and does not and will probably never trust her. And Emma knows this. She understands people way more than we give this cold-hearted woman credit for. The reason why she brought Kitty into the fold in the first place (as revealed in issue #18), is because Emma is losing her mind because parasitic Cassandra Nova hijacked her telepathically, and she knew Kitty would be the only one who won't hesitate to kill her. That's a powerful thing to entrust someone with, and it didn't help her already temperamental relationship with Kitty either. But Emma had revealed to Kitty that she is capable of murder if she's motivated for the right reasons, and such a startling revelation, I know, has shook Kitty, but she's not able to deal with that for now. Still, I think, in a twisted sort of way, Kitty began respecting Emma and what she can do after that incident. With little empathy and people skills, Emma can be so easy to dislike and cast aside as a woman forever trapped in the villain role, but Whedon had composed her here in such a validating perspective where she's finally vulnerable and in love with a man she feels she doesn't deserve. That broke my heart as much as Scott Summers has thawed the frost in her heart. She's so entralling in the story arc TORN that I can hardly keep up with her! I really like Emma, more than I ever thought I would. Her relationship with Scott is also worth shipping. They're an intriguing pair.

That's not to say that the male characters are slacking. Cyclops was allowed to truly shine as he rediscovers his purpose as the leader of the team while Colossus takes on fate itself and tries to bend it to his own will. Meanwhile, we have Beast, who gets to contemplate about his mutation and whether or not he wants to go through another painful physical transformation as Wolverine finds yet another young girl to become a promising protégé to train. The variety of villains for this series has served their respective purposes, short-lived as they may be whole a few were certainly impactful, and they only enriched the tapestry that Whedon has painstakingly and with great love care weaved for us readers. There was even a motion comics series because everyone apparently came to an agreement that this is meant to be shown visually in another medium because it's just that damn riveting. I recommend for you to check out said motions comics yourself which has copies online. As I finish this review, I literally can't think of a single disappointing thing about this series. Well, except for the Giant-Size's ending concerning Kitty Pryde but even that wasn't enough to lessen my adoration for the entirety of the series. I am still so duly impressed by the quality that Whedon has produced here. This remains as a strong contribution to the X-Men universe nonetheless!

Overall, Joss Whedon's The Astonishing X-Men has accomplished what it set out to do when it started: to astonish the world. A perfect mixture of sustainable action, relentless twist and turns and resonant character insights and relationships, this is a series that you will be a fool not to start reading at once. The majority agrees that this is just bloody brilliant and a worthy addition to any fan's X-Men collection.

RECOMMENDED: 10/10

The Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon #23-24

THE ASTONISHING X-MEN ISSUES #23-24 "UNSTOPPABLE" parts 5 & 6

We have reached the official end of Joss Whedon's run for The Astonishing X-Men. The last story arc of this run is called Unstoppable and much like the last two great ones entitled Danger and Torn--I'm sorry, I meant TORN--this one lives up to its name in essentially a lot of ways during certain pivotal scenes in its six-issued-installment. The fifth and sixth parts of Unstoppable have been...interesting, as far as my apathy can stretch because as enjoyable as the characters have been on this arc, the main plot alienated me.

You see, I still maintain that I don't care about Breakworld even if Whedon did spend an ample amount of time fleshing out its villain and secondary characters in relation to Breakworld. The lady rebel Aghane was sympathetic because she had gone against everything that the Breakworlders stand for which is about warmongering, brutality, patriarchy and a narrow-minded desire to value strength and cruelty as the formidable traits of their so-called enlightened society. The ones who rule are a barbaric, undeserving lot and I don't care if this opinion is heavily contextualized by the fact that I'm human and I don't have anything else to base on but my own cultural experiences--I still think the Breakworld leaders are thugs and tyrants who rely so much on their power and conquest that they don't see anything past their overblown self-importance and egos. I just can't care if their planet gets destroyed if Aghane is right when she interprets the prophecy as a way to rebuild a stronger, more loving world. We should give that bright tomorrow a chance. We should let Colossus tear down the very core of this fucking planet and allow other Breakworlders like Aghane to thrive and create something more community-oriented than whatever shit-piss excuse of a government system that is still in place when it should have been obsolete. So, yes, I was a hundred percent in agreement with PLAN B: LET BREAKWORLD BE DESTROYED SO IT CAN BE REBUILT AGAIN. Every destruction follows creation. That's the way the universe works.

Good fucking riddance, Breakworld and best of luck, Aghane and co.

I'm not going to bother to talk about every painstaking detail and scene that happened in these last two installments because I'm quite frankly tired of all the nonsense concerning Breakworld. Just thinking about what to type and actually typing more about their bullshit are already draining endeavors so I'm not going to torture myself with that. After all, this alien race for me feel like they're merely a device to make the main characters shine and that's how Unstoppable became such a entertaining read for me regardless of how absurd and bland I find the storyline concerning Breakworlders and their prophecy. The X-Men both as a unit and as respective individuals were all uncannily well-written, sympathetic, and incredibly riveting heroes whose growth and development in the last twenty-four issues were crucial to my appreciation for the overall direction and climactic moments that Whedon--bless his big, fat geek heart--has graced us with. And that's how I want to spend my last review for a Whedon-AXM issue in this post--by discussing its strengths in characterizations that keep readers fully invested enough to see the fates of our heroes with the choices they made and did not make. By this weekend, I'm going to compose my official review for the collected omnibus of Whedon's run and I'm going to have to mentally and emotionally prepare myself for it. I may copypasta some highlights from my reviews of issues 1-24 just to recap the overall awesomeness, badassery and lovable quirkiness that Whedon has provided me during my three-week journey to its fantastic roster. Now, let's talk about our heroes and their contributions to the series.

~* PRESENTING THE ASTONISHING X-MEN *~

There are three X-Men who really took the center stage consistently for the twenty-four issues, and the most who has done so is no other than Kitty Pryde. Whedon's first issue began with seeing her again as she walks back into the Xavier School for the Gifted, bags in hand but looking as if she has never left the place at all. What I enjoyed about Kitty in her appearances here in the series is the fact that she's a darling. Really, she is. Inquisitive, selfless but clever, and brave to a goddamn fault, Kitty always becomes the star of a story when a writer really knows how to commit her stellar characterization on paper. I thought she had an impressive run so far, taking on the responsibility of becoming an X-Man head-on even if she maintained that "being an X-Man does not always suit me". In spite of whatever insecurities she had about her skills and role in the team, she never lets it get to her and performs under pressure quite creatively and adamantly. This isn't really the first time Kitty caught my attention. In Claremont's X-Men: Forever, she accidentally phased through Wolverine while a mutant got them stuck and when she separated from him, he got a piece of his adamantium claw on her knuckle. The way she dealt with that physical transformation was so riveting to watch because at her core, Kitty remains the resourceful and compassionate kid she is through all of it. In her first appearance after the Dark Phoenix Saga, thirteen-year old Kitty is inexperienced in so many ways but was eager to learn and prove herself. This is around the time Days of Future Past hit, and her older self and younger self merged to save the day. It's such a shame that the movies don't put her front and center (alongside Wolverine if they must insist, considering Logan and Kitty have a good brother-sister thing going on anyway), especially when they cast a talented actress like Ellen Page for the role. In any case, at least in Whedon's Astonishing X-Men, she truly got to shine. Rogue may be my first love growing up with the cartoons, but Kitty is undoubtedly my MOST FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER as of the moment for X-Men, more so than Jean Grey in Brian Michael Bendis' version for All-New X-Men. I don't want to talk about the cliffhanger scene in issue #24, however, because I still can't wrap my head around what's going to happen to her, but I trust Kitty's survivor mode. Gods please let her be okay!

Oh, Emma Frost. The White Queen has always fascinated me since her very first appearance in the Dark Phoenix storyline as one of the formidable henchwomen of the Hellfire Club. It's worth noting that she and Kitty were introduced together especially here in Whedon's tale where the two are obviously at odds with each other. Kitty has made it no secret that she has no love for Emma and does not and will probably never trust her. And Emma knows this. She understands people way more than we give this cold-hearted woman credit for. The reason why she brought Kitty into the fold in the first place (as revealed in issue #18), is because Emma is losing her mind because parasitic Cassandra Nova hijacked her telepathically, and she knew Kitty would be the only one who won't hesitate to kill her. That's a powerful thing to entrust someone with, and it didn't help her already temperamental relationship with Kitty either. But Emma had revealed to Kitty that she is capable of murder if she's motivated for the right reasons, and such a startling revelation, I know, has shook Kitty, but she's not able to deal with that for now. Still, I think, in a twisted sort of way, Kitty began respecting Emma and what she can do after that incident. With little empathy and people skills, Emma can be so easy to dislike and cast aside as a woman forever trapped in the villain role, but Whedon had composed her here in such a validating perspective where she's finally vulnerable and in love with a man she feels she doesn't deserve. That broke my heart as much as Scott Summers has thawed the frost in her heart. She's so entralling in the story arc TORN that I can hardly keep up with her! I really like Emma, more than I ever thought I would. Her relationship with Scott is also worth shipping. They're an intriguing pair.

The third center stager of Whedon's epic had to be Scott Summers. I've always been in a neutral space when it comes to Cyclops as a character. I admire his good qualities but also get turned off by his shortcomings. That being said, I can honestly testify that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HIM here, thanks to Whedon's writing for him in TORN where I got to read all the inadequacies he had as it was laid bare by Emma during a telepathic hostile takeover of his mind. I think we often take for granted what a complex and tortured character this go-to golden boy scout had always been especially because he gets unfairly compared to baddass Wolverine. Whedon proves once and for all that Scott's baggage is a shade darker than we have thought collectively; this is a man who is afraid of his immense power, knows the kind of pain he can inflict, and is therefore more empathic about the people he leads, and he is a leader to the boot, make no mistake about that. We can question his ethics now in the current comics line with MARVEL NOW! We can argue that he has become an anti-hero that's dangerously walking the villain line every so often these days. But the Scott Summers I remember and I sympathize greatly with is exactly what Whedon has delivered for this series. Witnessing Scott take more control over his life while also giving up a little control when necessary is an uplifting testament to his self-awareness and dignity of person. After Emma strips him away off his mutant powers temporarily, he is able to access the strength he never knew he had; to channel all his fear of losing control into something meaningfully courageous and this had been show during the Unstoppable story arc. When Scott declared, "To me my X-Men," his five teammates definitely came running because as flawed, seemingly stoic and dull as Cyclops comes off from an outsider's point of view, his X-Men knows he is a leader worth following and fighting side by side with. I think one of the things I can applaud Whedon's AXM is that its Cyclops is a hero worth rooting for to the end!

During the first story arc Gifted, Hank McCoy faces the biggest temptation of his life yet--there is a mutant cure that was recently invented by his former colleague and friend Dr. Kavita Rao, and it's supposed to remove the X-gene forever since she believed that mutation is merely a genetic defect. Faced by the stern disapproval of his friends and teammates, Hank was still tempted to take the cure for himself since it was proven genuine (at the cost of a teenage mutant's life who was forced to take it). Hank's mutation as Beast had been a rather challenging struggle. His physical evolution, though he much prefer deeming it as 'devolving', has been integral to his character development in the X-universe. He goes through various stages of physical change and he fears that there may come a time he will lose his higher functions, not just his intelligence and wit but also his humanity. Whedon examines Hank's worst fear come to life briefly when he was telepathically hijacked by Cassandra Nova via Emma Frost in TORN (this arc is the gift that keeps on giving, I tell you!). We see him truly acting like a beast there, preying on people and acting like a mere savage creature. Since the focus shifted on other characters, this part of his personal story has been set aside for now but hopefully the new writer replacing Joss Whedon who is no other than Warren Ellis will pick this up too because I'm very much interested to see if Beast will take the cure or not, and if taking it might really be the chance at normality that he seeks. However, taking the cure is an affront to who he is an X-Man; it will jeopardize his status as the role model for other mutants everywhere. I'm excited to see how his next character-focused story will deal with this dilemma, and I hope it'd be compellingly done.

Now this is how I like my Wolverine: just an uncomplicated dude who likes beer and clawing bad guys, performing in the background as an effective killing machine but then also gets to be surprisingly sweet with young students who are in need of a big-brother figure (in this series, it's the newly recruited member Hisako a.k.a Armor). Logan is always rough around the edges, picking up fights when the moment calls for it, but is always going to be reliable so you want him on your team. He is free of drama in this series (which is not even a thing you can say about his Hugh Jackman version in the films) and is often an unintended comic relief every now and then when the stressful situations are getting to everyone else but this functional alcoholic whose healing abilities has probably made his liver cirrhosis-proof. I really thought he and Scott will continue to keep butting heads but luckily he is compliant enough, doing whatever he can and whatever is asked of him like a good soldier. Though a terror anarchist in the surface, Logan clearly cares about the welfare of everyone particularly the ones who can't protect themselves yet. He doesn't protect or coddle them, however. He throws them in a baptism of fire without hesitation but is always there to put out the fire if things do get out of hand. I'm interested to see him bonding more with Hisako because Logan is teacher material as we have seen in the current MARVEL NOW! with his own series Wolverine and the X-Men (my December upcoming pick!). I think Logan truly showcases his grit and softer side when around young teens and children because the most admirable trait Logan has is he is a sort of a knight in shining armor for the weak and helpless but rather than rescuing them, he teaches them how to fight even if it's the hard, hellish way. I can see him doing the same thing for Hisako and it's hilarious and sweet all at once! So I hope Ellis brings that out some more in his own run.



By all accounts, Peter Rasputin a. k. a Colossus should have stayed dead. He sacrificed himself for the Legacy Virus, saving countless mutants in the process. By being the science experiment to procure the mutant cure that will remove the X-gene, and then turning him into a planet-destroyer with that goddamn absurd alien prophecy, I really thought Whedon has a grudge on this character and is set out in undoing all the good and noble things Peter has done in the previous storylines. If it wasn't for the fact that he and Kitty are getting it on (in the most confusing way possible; this couple angst-ed their way through the issue like no other, save Scott and Jean during Claremont era), I really would have concluded Whedon doesn't like this character. Personally, Colossus is an appealing X-Man because he is an upright figure since the beginning. Raised in Soviet Russia, Peter is hardworking and is ready to offer everything for his homeland. When Charles Xavier recruited him, the professor made a promise that Peter can help more people globally by becoming an X-Man. And all that Peter ever wanted to do since he had discovered his mutant powers is to do good, to help people in any capacity he could. For Whedon's writing of this character, we can see that he is not portrayed as that at all but rather as a prophesied figure of destruction. By the end of Unstoppable, we see that the prophecy has a more uplifting interpretation but it doesn't change the fact that Colossus will be responsible for the death of millions if he did end up doing what he must by the end of issue #24 (it was another cliffhanger for him, much like with Kitty's situation). I think he's my least favorite character in the X-Men for now because I just don't like the way he's being portrayed. Whedon hit the right notes with the rest but his Colossus was problematic for me because I preferred the old Colossus. Hopefully his characterization will even out by Ellis' run, and he will continue to be lovey-dovey with Kitty because these two babies are gorgeous together--as long as they get one fucking day without the commotion of their danger-filled vocation of being X-Men. Which never happens, of course because being an X-Man fucks you up one way or another.


AND THERE WE HAVE IT! THE END OF JOSS WHEDON'S RUN! What a miracle worker, this man! Now I have more things to tackle in my official review of the omnibus of his collected issues #1-24 by the weekend. This is just a taste of some of my most important opinions of what his series has accomplished so far. Consider me very, very happy about The Astonishing X-Men.

Like, this amount of happy

RECOMMENDED: 8/10

The Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon #21-22

Elation. Trepidation. Nausea. Liberation. Damnation. All wrapped up in a tight bun that is me after I finished reading the third and fourth installments of Unstoppable. Stephen Colbert himself captures all of these feelings in this singular gesture demonstrated below:

I hardly remember my comic-book reading life before The Astonishing X-Men. My September pick was Brian Michael Bendis' forty-one issues of All-New X-Men and I remember falling in love with that once but the truth is all I could recall more clearly is how I fell out of love with that series. I never expected things to get better since then because I was sorely let down. And then this happens to me. Whedon and his AXM happens to me. And now Bendis' ANXM is nothing but a fading memory next to what Joss Whedon has accomplished here in The Astonishing X-Men. I don't ever remember feeling this intellectually stimulated and emotionally rewarded before. And I feel sick. I feel like ugly-crying.

Tobey Maguire would have been proud

Don't worry. I promise to keep it together until the end of this review. It'll be tough for me but I'll get through it. 

THE ASTONISHING X-MEN ISSUES #21-22 "UNSTOPPABLE" parts 3 & 4

I've been combining reviews for two issues in one post and it's been a great way to discuss certain plot points and character developments back-to-back especially when they are intrinsically inseparable from each other. Instead of wasting time summarizing every scene that happened for both installments, I'll simply talk about the highlights and touch briefly upon the main plot which I still do not care about because the truth for the matter is that PLENTY OF OTHER INTERESTING THINGS are happening around it. And here they are:

KITTY AND PETER

Where do I even start and end with these two kids? The constant push-and-pull between these two lovers is akin to Gossip Girl's Chuck and Blair. One issue they're reunited poignantly; the next they're awkward around each other; then lovey-dovey and sexy times commence; then sad realizations occur that puts them in the verge of a break-up; and then they get stuck somewhere and have to deal with each other; then sexy times happen again; then more sad realizations. You know what, just look at their notable interactions in these two issues and judge for yourself how agonizingly sweet and sad everything about their unstable relationship has been:

A couple of scenes later...

EMMA AND SCOTT

While Kitty and Peter are angst-ing away together, Emma is angst-ing by herself, far too selfish to carry the load of her previously believed unrequited feelings for Scott. The two were also stranded together in Breakworld, fighting their way through the shit and scum thrown their way. Here they are with their backs on each other, trying to have a normal, adult conversation about their feelings and whatnot. Emma refuses to apologize and Scott is livid. And yet, for some reason, he admits that he has truly fallen for her. I mean, what the hell?! She broke you down and repressed your mutant powers. She made you face your cowardice and insecurities about being a mutant, an X-Man and a leader. She tore you right at the soul and core of your inadequacies and limitations...and YOU FALL THE FUCK IN LOVE WITH HER, SLIM? It's...it's....BLOODY BRILLIANT, that's what it is! I will always adore the childhood-sweethearts that were Scott and Jean together (especially their OCF counterparts in X-Men: First Class and the All-New X-Men comic books), but Emma and Scott together is proving to be volatile, wickedly sexy and breathtakingly raw and vulnerable together!! Just look at this shit:

And how does Emma react to this confession? She asked for Danger TO KILL HER ON THE SPOT.

WOULD YOU LET YOURSELF BE LOVED, EMMA FROST, FOR FUCK'S SAKE?! Take a look at your Once Upon A Time counterpart who is also named Emma and is just as guarded as you. She certainly stopped bullshitting around her love interest and finally owned up to how she felt about him. Instead of standing there as Scott almost lay dead, asking for some AI to murder you, you should have just grabbed Scott and kissed him out of his damn mind. Like this, you stupid bitch:

FUCKING KISS THE BOY ALREADY LIKE THIS EMMA HAS DONE!

THE RADICAL BREAKWORLDER LADY 

I still don't care about what happens to Breakworld but then this lady shows up and has a different way of looking at the prophecy. I instantly warmed up to her, especially when you compare her to the masculine assholes who all have such raging hard-ons for intergalactic nuclear war that they are mere savages whose extinction will not even make me blink once it happens. That being said, I want her and the rest of her followers to survive when this story ends. The rest of the patriarchal, chauvinistic, war-mongering population of this planet can go ahead and suck it. There is a villain in this story whose name I don't even care enough to learn and properly spell here in my review. It's Kruunun-something-fucker. I don't know, fuck him. Let's read the passages of this benevolent, wise lady instead:

DANGER'S RUDE AWAKENING

So, Danger. How you been, old girl? Still spiteful and bitter. Nope, not really buying it. I knew you weren't so bad. She sided with Kruunnunnn-something-fucker in the earlier pages of issue #21, promising to deliver him the X-Men since she knows how to defeat them. But when faced with the prospect of killing Emma, she couldn't do it. And Emma's reasoning for it was...pretty moving. 

AGENT BRAND'S MERCURIAL MOMENTS

I already said in my previous post than I'm okay with Special Agent Brand now although she does have to work on her manners.

Beast shames her with that remark

That being said, she has a good point in the next panels concerning Lockheed's involvement and how we should treat alien species with dignity and respect. The bitch may be as cold as Emma at times, but she's not heartless. She's just really dedicated with her job that she comes off dismissive and a hardass. In any case, I know there's a softie underneath that gruff. Hopefully, Whedon will show us that in the later installments. For now, I'm cool with Brand. She just needs to act like a human being and less of a severe fix-it control freak.

The rest of the story is about the Breakworld preparing their nuclear forces to annihilate Earth/capture Colossus/overthrow Kruunuun-fucker/whatever the hell it takes to keep this story going so it can provide me with more emotionally meaningful moments among characters. I'm looking forward to Wolverine/Hisako scenes next. That's mostly what happened here in the third and fourth parts of Unstoppable. Whew! I managed to keep it together after all. Did I miss anything...? Oh wait...

...how does issue #22 ends, pray tell? Oh, that's right. I rememeber now:  SCOTT DIES.

I'm not going to start jumping into conclusions again (like that time when I thought Emma stabbed him with the mutant cure, remember that, folks? I was deadly wrong with that). However, I AM GOING TO OVERREACT AS IF IT'S REALLY THE END OF HIS LIFE AND I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE I'MA START UGLY-CRYING AS SOON AS THIS SENTENCE IS OVER!!!

JESUS LOKI TAKE THE WHEEL!!

RECOMMENDED: 9/10

The Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon #19-20

I find myself in a really weird place right now with this new story arc entitled Unstoppable. A huge part of me doesn't care about the Breakworld and whatever is going to happen to it because I have no emotional investment in this alien planet whatsover. On the other hand, I should care because the mutant who was prophesied to destroy Breakworld is an X-Man and no other than fan-favorite Colossus who had just been resurrected after his noble sacrifice of life during the Legacy Virus storyline. He sacrificed himself so mutants can live virus-free and now he's supposed to destroy an alien race. That in itself is a compelling contrast that I can applaud Whedon for trying to explore right now. Still, after the amazing previous arc concerning Emma Frost being afflicted by a Cassandra Nova brain worm, this one doesn't feel like a worthy follow-up as of yet. But since we're only in two installments in, I want to reserve my judgments once it's completed. So far, I'm fine with how the story is progressing. The pacing is acceptable and nothing gets unexplained for a long time because it's all very straightforward, actually. 

The X-Men were captured by Special Agent Brand and the rest of S.W.O.R.D and are forced/tasked to help them inflitrate Breakworld and hopefully stop the prohecy from happening. If they can't and the Breakworlders prove to be hostile because they have a plan in place to attack Earth, then Colossus should destroy Breakworld. I mean, WHAT? This kind of logic is so frustratingly simple but for some reason is complicated to execute. I don't understand why we're bothering to make peace with the Breakworlders anyway when there's a Plan B where we just let Colossus fulfill his prophecy. I suppose Brand is hoping to appease the Breakworlders and if diplomacy doesn't work and they still want to blow up Earth then Colossus should totally just kill them and their planet. Typing this all out now has made me realized how laughably stupid Brand's plan had been. Whatever. The .GIF below summarizes how I feel about this story arc as a whole so far:

THE ASTONISHING X-MEN ISSUES 19 & 20 "UNSTOPPABLE" parts 1 and 2

Here are the noteworthy parts of the two issues:

PLOT POINTS

Lockheed is the mole for S.W.O.R.D.

There was a time that I was annoyed that Emma Frost is the obvious candidate for mole tasked by the S.W.O.R.D to spy on the X-Men because she seemed to be the only person who may turncoat. When she did turncoat, that left no doubt in mind that she's the mole--but it was revealed that she's in cahoots with Nova and the imaginary new Hellfire Club. That meant she wasn't the mole for S.W.O.R.D because it was pretty clear she wasn't a double agent or anything. So I forgot about the mole situation until this issue reminded me about it by casually revealing that it was Kitty's adorable dragon pet Lockheed. I would have expected anyone to be the mole--not a creature like Lockheed. Agent Brand did say that Lockheed is fiercely loyal and bonded to Kitty so if he is spying for the S.W.O.R.D, it's because it has determined that it's in the best interest of Kitty and the X-Men that said dragon pet has to work with the shady embassy. It was worth saying, though, that Lockheed may have been avoiding Kitty, probably a little ashamed for what it had been doing, even if it's for the right intentions.

The Breakworlders and their fixation on the prophecy

I don't give a shit but I'm putting this in anyway because it's important to the story, being the primary focus. The Breakworlders have been preparing for the day their home planet is laid to waste and the precautions and steps they took to achieve a level of defense against the threat of Colossus are bewildering and very disturbing. I don't really understand some of it so I'm not going to explain it here yet. I have a feeling that we will get a more nuanced look at how they operate by the next installments. I can only trust in Whedon's exceptional skills as a writer to keep me interested in this direction of the plot because by now I'm barely awake while reading parts about the Breakworlders.

Danger and a few SWORDees were captured

In issue #19, the Breakworlders proceed to shoot at the S.W.O.R.D embassy space shuttle and to divert their attention, Agent Brand sent a cockpit called the splinter so the Breakworlders will focus their time on apprehending that vehicle instead. It was a successful ruse, but one of the passengers is the previously sentient AI Danger whom we all know hates X-Men with her every synthetic fiber, and she is about to meet up with a few Breakworlder leaders, possibly to reveal strategic weaknesses that will make it more difficult for the heroes to fight against the Breakworlders. I'm interested to read more of Danger again, and how she's going to contribute to the story. She's a fascinating creation and I wonder if she will ever side with the X-Men or become one of their most formidable foes in the future.

CHARACTER MOMENTS

Special Agent Brand is not so bad

I called her an unrepentant asshole before in Gifted because her questionable role in the mutant cure and the Ord's revenge scheme has been so gratingly evasive. I simply did not trust her at first sight. She seemed cold, distant and a little too professional even when dealing with personal interactions. However, by the time issue #20 rolls around, I can actually see things in her perspective now. She's becoming more of a real person with real values and motivations than some unknowable secondary character who doesn't share her goals with the people she's interacting with. What I know about Agent Brand so far is she has a strong sense of duty and will not apologize for it. The latter part of that could be a personal flaw; that's the characteristic I have seen in her first few appearances in this series. But her sense of duty is something to be commended because it helps her make decisions under the most stressful situations. Mostly her choices are unpopular and that makes her unlikable for outsiders like myself and the X-Men. But now that I have spent an ample amount time to understand what drives her to do the things she had, I can appreciate her backbone. She cares about our planet and its safety from alien predators. It's the reason she's the leader of S.W.O.R.D. She is well-versed with the cultural differences and political tensions between human beings and the alien, and acts accordingly to what is the least damaging of the situations at hand. Right now she's maintaining peaceful accord with the Breakworlders but she also acknowledges that said alien race is ready to nuke Earth if the need arises. If that is the case, she has no problem unleashing the prophetic destruction on them. I know I said it was a laughably stupid plan, but it's only because I don't understand why they even bother. 

I'm know that I'm totally being a racist towards the Breakworlders, sure, I get that. So I'll just shut my racist mouth and let this story unfold by itself. Maybe I might start liking the Breakworlders later on...who knows?

Kitty and Peter Drama

I love this pairing since its conception, but I also admit that collective writers have not made it easy for them to be in a relationship that's healthy and long-lasting. Their mutant powers have an interesting duality and parallelism with each other as well. The basic foundation of their budding relationship this time around in The Astonishing X-Men is the fact that Colossus should have been dead but was resurrected and is suffering PTSD from all the science experiments Ord had put him through. Meanwhile, Kitty lost her father in the Genosha genocide. Both are healing from their respective wounds, and they found solace in each other's presence. Things are getting crazier by the minute for the X-Men so Kitty and Peter decided to stop delaying things between them just because it's inconvenient. Good for them. And then the thing with Cassandra Nova happened where a brain worm Nova inflicted Emma with had compelled said White Queen to put Kitty in the most horrific kind of mind trick where she was led to believe she and Peter were married, had a kid in their three years together, and said kid's life was in danger and she's the only one to save him. That may have all been imaginary but the basis was taken from what Emma knew regarding Kitty and Peter's defining qualities as individuals that may and will always make it impossible for them to stay together. Kitty will always choose the most rebellious options if it's for the good of someone she loves; Peter is driven to choose the most practical option for the good of everyone else. That's how different they are in approaching things, and often this costs them each other in the long run. 

Kitty is learning to deal with those fundamental contrasts and she had to be honest with Peter about it:

I know that they will have to rehash more of their problems while on the mission, considering the two of them got separated from the rest of the X-Men and now have to depend on each other and trust one another if they hope to survive the Breakworld and their stupid prophesy about Colossus destroying their home planet. And I think this is the most character arc I look forward to because I've always cared about Kitty and her problems, and I do adore Colossus and his vulnerable side which I hope to see more of particularly now that he's dealing with a setback concerning his romantic relationship with Kitty. I like these two characters for what they offer in the story so far and the dynamic allure of their relationship with each other. Will they stay together or keep things platonic for good? It's a fair game at this point.

SMALL MOMENTS

Speaking of more pairings for this story arc, we also have Wolverine and Hisako. Logan has always been a big brother to a lot of young ladies who are aspiring X-Men and he's developing the same kind of bond with Hisako that he did with Jubilee in the nineties. I like the idea of him apprenticing someone who is so inexperienced and frightened since this is her first mission. Brash, violent and cynical as Logan may be, he can be shockingly warm and patient with his students (although he'd rather drive his claws through metal than admit that to himself, especially). We also have Scott and Emma who have yet to discuss the status of their relationship and if there is a chance they can repair and restore what has been broken and severed to the point of no return. Of course, I'm rooting a hundred percent for this couple to make it. As strange as the circumstances their romantic affair started in, Emma and Scott actually jive fantastically together (as far as I've read in other titles). Emma shows in TORN that she understands Scott right down to his insecure, tragic core, and she loves him for it anyway. Scott may also be the only to thaw the ice in Emma's predator heart and help her open up just a little. Both people also like to be in control and around each other, they learn to let go of that control in order to be together, and I think that's the most encouraging quality of their relationship.

In a nutshell, the first two installments of Unstoppable have been acceptable. I like a lot of parts in both issues especially the characterizations but the main plot has yet to grow on me. I have no strong feelings of either love or hate. Let's see what else in store next.

RECOMMENDED: 8/10

The Astonishing X-Men by Joss Whedon #17-18

This is it, y'all. The moment of truth. We are at the last two installments of TORN. This is my most favorite of the four story arcs written by Joss Whedon for The Astonishing X-Men yet ,and if this is any indication of the quality of work that Whedon can come up with in the last 18 issues so far then I am absolutely trusting of what he has in store for me next for the fifth arc, as I continue my reading and review of this tantalizing and excitingly unpredictable series. "Exciting unpredictable" is the same phrase I would describe issues #17-18 of TORN because I did not see that resolution coming at all! Right after finishing them, I was in such the best of moods because I was fulfilled by something that I had such a strong emotional investment in, and wasn't let down when all was said and done. There are only a handful of comic book stories that I enjoyed from the start to the finish; most of them have bumpy middle acts and problematic endings. But I can honestly say that TORN was everything that I ever wanted and needed in an X-Men comic book story. All the elements aligned brilliantly together and all of the characters were utilized in the completion of its arc. Well done, Mr. Whedon. This calls for a celebration!

THE ASTONISHING X-MEN ISSUES #17-18 "TORN" parts 5 & 6

TORN is essentially a story about Emma Frost and Kitty Pryde, both as individual characters and as rivals. The men are merely players in the background and the true main attraction is the traitorous game that Emma played against her teammates, and how the ever resourceful Kitty might be the only key in undoing all that damage, as long as she is strong enough to fight her way through the deceptions and the illusions. Unfortunately for her, battling a telepath is always going to be too much or anyone's plate especially a formidable one who will stop at nothing until she is reduced into an emotional mess. That's exactly the greatest threat and challenge for Kitty Pryde.

Issue #17 opens with Kitty inside a well-crafted telepathic mirage where she believes that she and Peter are married and has just given birth to a baby boy named Michael. The entire illusion lasted only for a few minutes in the real time but inside Kitty's head, she had three years with her fake life and fake family. The one responsible for such a cruel mind trick is the original White Queen (the seventies-costumed villainess we were first introduced to during Dark Phoenix) while the other Emma was still buried underneath the school thanks to Kitty back in the previous issue. So while Kitty is busy living an illusion she much believes is real and urgent, a pussified and petrified Logan can only watch in horror and helplessness as she gets tricked into thinking that Xavier's most guarded vessel called only as "the manger" is where her fake son Michael is trapped in. Last issue, the Hellfire Club talked about the fact that they can never open the damn thing because it's sealed with all kinds of protective measurements as reinforced by Charles himself, and only Kitty's physics-defying phasing mutant power can penetrate through. In doing so, the White Queen wisely realized that she has to give Kitty a proper motivation to break through it, and what better way to do that than make her think that the life of her imaginary three-year-old son depends on it?

Kitty's state of mind right now

It was chilling and all kinds of infuriating to see such a desperate and vulnerable Kitty phase her way through something incredibly painful, all because of a telepathic mind trick courtesy of this original White Queen whose very appearance in this story has made me incredibly suspicious as to what is really going on with this new Hellfire Club. Suddenly, I'm not sure what to trust. None of this is making sense--until we find out what's inside that goddamn manger anyway. It's the disgusting, filthy larvae of Cassandra Nova who is foremost a parasite who needs a host, and as soon as Kitty was successful in taking out that the larvae from the container, and happily shows it to Peter, claiming it as their son, he is just what-the-fuck-ing in his confused state right now, and the two were easily knocked out by Emma as Cassandra whispers into her mind to get Kitty's unconscious body prepared because she is about to become the host. But before Emma could get the transference ready, Scott--bloody de-powered Scott--rises to the occasion, brandishing a gun, and shooting the fuck out the original White Queen. That's how Issue #17 ends; with this heroic panel of Scott being awesome. He looks so hot without that fucking visor hiding his beautiful brown eyes.

Issue #18 is the concluding piece of this epic story arc, and it delivered enough shocks, thrills and a very unexpected revelation so that by the end of the road, I was immensely satisfied with what I was handed. Sure, I was also screaming and seething but I had a big grin on my face once everything finally started making sense, and even when it made sense, that awful sense of dread still took over and I was all the more worried for the characters and the future storylines that are coming especially now that we have another stage that was set. Before we go to the revelation concerning Emma Frost, it's important for me to discuss the B-story that is soon to be the A-story for the next story arc which is the exhausting countdown to Ord the Dumb-Dumb's confrontation with the future Breakworld destroyer, Colossus, and what an asshole Danger is for siding with him. By midway issue #18, these two unlikely allies make their appearance and things get more topsy-turvy for everyone because they have to deal with these assholes while the X-Men are still clamoring over the attack by Frost and the Hellfire Club.

Me, panicking for everyone else

But with Scott Summers finally taking over, things are filled with hope once more. Whatever crippling telepathic stupor that Emma has put Scott under in the earlier issues, well, the badass was able to shake it off just in time to start shooting sons of bitches. I thought it was weird that he just started gunning for Sebastian Shaw and Negasonic so easily without either of them putting up a fight. He was also very casual about the entire thing as he explains to Kitty who is the real villain in this centerpiece. This is being done all the while he maintains a connection with the young student telepath Blindfold who is busy trying to tame Beast and get him to accessing his higher functions as an intelligent man....using a fucking ball of thread. Because, Beast is a cat now. Meanwhile, this is when Ord and Danger struck with an explosive entrance, causing Logan to get tossed around and get a beer can hit in him the face. The impact of both those things managed to be painful and abrupt enough to release him from Nova's telepathic manipulation and so the Wolverine is back to put concerned individuals into some world of hurt. He starts with Ord and Danger. Beast joins the fight once he puts on a fancy suit and starts using a Magento-inspired gadget he had worked on so he can nail Ord and Danger on the ceiling using magnetism. All is looking well for everyone, and the players now gather to Scott who reveals whatever the hell is happening with Emma and the Hellfire Club.

The great reveal is that THERE IS NO HELLFIRE CLUB. There never was. It was only Cassandra Nova...or at least a splinter of her inside Emma Frost's mind, taking root and slowly growing, driving her to act accordingly to what the cunt has planned which is her escape from that container. Everything had been a grand illusion which Frost was able to sustain enough with Nova's guiding force so intricately imprinted in her psyche, controlling her and influencing her actions. Sebastian, Perfection, Negasonic, even that physical manifestation of Cassandra---they're all false and it was just Emma and her guilt which Cassandra Nova feasted on. Scott and Hank expound:

"It was Emma who stuck Cassandra Nova's consciousness inside that blob in the first place. And Nova does a 'hail mary' into Emma's brain before she fades. One tiny suggestion, too small to notice, but clamped on to Emma's greatest weakness, feeding, growing, creating an alternate reality for Emma."

Really heavy and riveting stuff. Emma Frost is losing her mind to a brain worm courtesy of Cassandra Nova, and her last plea out of it is by recruiting Kitty back in the team as her failsafe. She knows Kitty won't hesitate to take her out and Scott is right to say that Kitty is doing exactly what Emma expected for her to do...which is to kill her. Horrified, disgusted and very vulnerable, Kitty doesn't go through it but it doesn't mean she's ready to forgive Emma for the deception and that cruel mind trick about her imaginary three-year-old son. Who could ever move on from that? I feel for Kitty. But I also feel for Emma. And I am very, very proud of Scott! I just confirmed that Scott was not injected with the mutant cure, so we can all stop freaking out about that. False alarm, my bad. 

The collective reaction of  my readers concerning that

The issue ends by Whedon picking right up on the B-story concerning the Breakworld without a moment's preamble. Not a very smooth transition, I must say. Everyone is still reeling from Emma's betrayal and the Nova brain worm lodged in her consciousness; Kitty is still emotionally wounded from the hurtful mind trick, and Scott is unable to access his powers which means we will get to see more of those beautiful brown eyes. So Agent Brand kidnaps the X-Men, not giving a single fuck of what they have just been through as she readies to throw them in another baptism of fire where chances of survival might be slimmer than expected. That's usually just Wednesdays for X-Men, ain't it?

RECOMMENDED: 10/10