Tuesday, September 1, 2015

All-New X-Men by Brian Michael Bendis #4

The first two pages of this issue presented us with the most amusing inner monologues ever committed on paper as delivered by a very confused Scott Summers. The basic summary of his freak-out moment is this. I took some liberties in the words but I promise to stay true to the gist of the content as I most possibly can:

"Holy shit, holy shit. I have officially lost me marbles. Who did this? Mastermind? Mentallo? My freaking ex-girlfriend Em?! She lied to me, didn't she? She still has her powers, that freaking lying--but Em wouldn't stoop this low..."

"Oh fuck, could it be? Is it Xavier? Dude just can't stay dead, can he? Vicious prick wanted me to stare into the reflection of myself when I was such a pushover he can trick into doing things for him. But no way, Xavier is dead and gone. I made sure of that. And Em will never hurt me like this. We're gonna get back together soon enough..."

"This could only mean...somebody else wants to punish me. Probably Mystique because she's the go-to bitch...but that means there have to be four other shape-shifters to pull off this trick. Fuck me, this is no trick. They must really be the X-Men from the past back when---oh my god, Jean is sooooo pretty! Look at her! So gorgeous and young and everything I have ever wanted--"

At this point, readers realize that Jean Grey can hear exactly what he's been thinking and finding out for herself through his thoughts that he indeed killed the professor and, DURING THE VERY SAME CONTINUOUS LINE OF THOUGHT, he started lusting over her and claimed to love her, she definitely loses it and shoots Cyclops and Magneto off using her telekinetic blast. It was glorious.

Then a fight ensues between the Cyclopses and their beams. Angel and Iceman go after Magneto while Beast tends to Jean Grey who collapsed after finding out that the boy she is crushing on for only a few weeks in their timeline has grown up to become such a despicable man who murdered their beloved teacher. Magneto went to Present-Scott and cradled him in his arms and screamed for Magik to teleport them out and she obliged. The OCF were in shock mostly as Past-Scott could only stare in disbelief at Jean who is lying unconscious in Beast's arms and Angel verbally expresses that he never expected Scott to ever attack like that especially when he almost hit Jean. Him and Iceman, never ones to miss comedic timing, commented with this gem:

Warren was like, "Mags was totes HUGGING SCOTT, right?! It wasn't just my delusion, right?!" to which Bobby counters with "Did that coward future-Magneto really just THREW A BICYCLE AT ME?" Because that's what's really important here, guys.

Anyway, we get some page-time with the new recruits Eva and Christopher from the first issue as well as the new shape-shifting mutant who cannot believe two groups of X-Men just fought over him and stuff. Jean is having the worst telepathic breakdown ever, considering she has only experienced telepathy for the first time and was really struggling to turn it off. And both Cyclopses are still in shock. We even get this parallel panels where the two of them are just sitting at a hill, trying to process their thoughts which is all kinds of poignant and pitiful:

Emma tried to comfort Scott a little and she arrived to the same conclusion as he had; that it was Hank McCoy who brought those youngsters back using time travel, all so he could make Scott see the error of his ways or at least punish him for what he had done...especially since he killed Charles Xavier. Scott is really pissed about this now, and that is not a good sign.

Speaking of Beast: Hank continues to also struggle for his life as the next stage of his mutation is physically tearing him apart. The OCF returned to the mansion just in time as Ororo, Logan, Kitty and Bobby (who still freaks out every time he sees his old self) gathered around the operating table, trying frantically to save Hank's life. And the issue ends there. WHAT A TERRIFIC STORYLINE AND IT'S ONLY GETTING MORE SUSPENSEFUL EVERY INSTALLMENT THAT IT DESERVES SOME CAPS-LOCK ABUSE FROM MY PART.


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