Wednesday, September 9, 2015

All-New X-Men by Brian Michael Bendis #13

Jean Grey just had her third meltdown in this issue. You'd think that after having the first two, seeing her lose her shit yet again will get old for me but never stops being all kinds of off-putting, dreadful and hilarious. I think Jeanie freaking the fuck out has officially become this title's long-running gag and meme. I mean, the very first page of this issue even showed us a spoiler where Jean just became the goddamn Phoenix! In the background were Wolverine and young Scott. The latter is just dumbstruck and is probably shitting his spandex right now. Meanwhile, Wolverine has that "getting too old for this shit" exhausted expression on his face as he muttered almost to himself that he can't believe it's happening again, what the actual fuck? 

I share that sentiment, Logan.

But let's talk about what happened six hours before that Jean Grey-branded clusterfuck went down.

The OCF with Kitty and Wolverine travel in the Blackbird to confront Mystique even though Captain America was adamant last issue for them to stay low and barricade themselves in the school so the Avengers can take care of business. Bobby expressed his dismay over Angel's defection to present-day Cyclops' Dream Team but Hank assured him that Warren is their friend and will come back but Bobby observed that none of them really know each other that well. Wolverine agreed and he asserted that not always knowing people completely is what makes life interesting. To ensure that they can revisit the spots undetected where Mystique and her goons ransacked and stole from, Wolverine asked Jean to use her telepathy and Kitty helped her channel for a way to disguise them all physically while they are on site.

They got to the site and Jean was able to handle the camouflage for at least a good ten minutes before she failed and got them almost shot down by the police who were guarding the place. Mystique after all had Lady Mastermind disguise them as the OCF while the three committed their felonies so as far as the human agencies are concerned, the OCF are the main suspects and have to be apprehended. They got back into the Blackbird safely and now know where they should be heading after Wolverine caught scent of their targets. They start talking about Alex Summers' speech in the news about the use of 'mutant', claiming it should officially be a "hate word", a derogatory term that should never be used so casually ever again. Alex argued that they are all humans and so mutants should not define themselves based on their genetic distinction and focus more on their identity as part of the human race, even though they are the more evolved species. It's a great thought but Kitty justified that such a line of thinking does not resonate with her. Check out her awesome speech:

Elsewhere, Mystique finally revealed what she planned to do with that literal mountain of money pile she has gathered with the aid of Sabretooth and Lady Mastermind. It turned out that she wanted to buy an island called Madripoor from Lady Hydra but whatever her plans are for this negotiation (and what she intends to do after buying off said island successfully) is still unclear to the readers. Before the two villainesses struck a deal, the X-Men chose that as the perfect time to crash the party. Lady Hydra now thinks it was all a set-up which meant she is now less likely to trust Mystique. Meanwhile, Lady Mastermind was thrilled to see Jean Grey... she could mess her up real fucking good:

Hence the first-paged spread earlier:

WOW. From bad to worse to EPIC CLUSTERFUCK is the progression here, huh? All I could say at this point to Jean Grey and to anyone going out of their way (be it intentional or not) to aggravate and get her off-hinged, sanity-wise, is this:

Give the girl a goddamn break, COME on! She's really trying to do better but it looks as if the world is one, massive cunt that is out to get teenage Jean. In any case, just hold on and stay strong, Jeanie! I believe in you.


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